Monday, October 26, 2015

Wife Earning More than Husband, Yay or Nay?

Assalamualaikum,
And Hi.

So, today, during Thinking Skills class (yes, we need to take Thinking Skills class), there's presentation and one group presented about Sexism.
Sexism is defined as a prejudice or discrimination based on one's sex or gender.
Judgment based on sex.

So they suggested what should we do to overcome this issue.
We should not judge the matter based on sex, when sex doesn't matter.

And they showed a video of a fighting couple.
First, they were fighting and the man pushed the woman hard against the wall and being kinda abusive and stuffs.
And the people around start to approach and said "Hey, stop or I will call the police."

Second, the situation changes. This time it's the woman being abusive, with pushing and slapping and stuff. But the people around just ignored them, and laughed away.

So, one of my classmates asked during the Q and A session,
"What will you do if you came across the second situation?"

FYI, they are a group of 5, all males.

Member #1 : "Since we are all guy, of course we will support that man."

Well, that is sexism. Hahaha. The irony. They suggested the ways of overcoming sexism but being sexism themselves.
If you come across this kind of situation, you should hear story from both sides and not judge straight away based on sex. Don't support just because that person is of the same gender.

Lecturer: "I want each of you guys to answer my question, frankly. What if your wife earns more than you, would you mind?"

Member #1 : No
Member #2 : No
Member #3 : Urm, I will have to think about it first.
Member #4 : I need to think first.
Member #5 : I don't care

This is the main purpose of me writing this. Haha, quite a long intro huh.

So,
What if your wife earns more than you?
What if your husband earns lesser than you?

I've asked a few of my friends (just two), majority of them said that they don't really mind if their husbands earn lesser compared to them.
If you ask me, I don't really mind either.

The problem is the world that we live in. It is set in the mentality of the society that the husband should earn more than the wife. How did they come to such mentality?
I've been wondering too, why the husband should earn more than wife?

Is it the matter of responsibility? Or pride?

I think that, it is actually because of the influence of the surrounding people (Family, friends, relatives etc.)
For example, the parents of the wife. Of course, they want someone who can take care of their daughter. They want the best for their daughter and do not want her to ever suffer. And they will start to compare the husband with their sons or son-in-laws.
Some parents take this matter seriously, of course.
I mean, it's not their fault. All parents want the best for their children. But I don't think to put pressure on the husband is the best solution. I think it will only lead to much bigger problems/fights.

Unlike my parents, they said if the guy is good, nice and kind, that is enough. Jyeah...

And then the relatives would probably bad-mouthing the husband...
Friends of the wife would probably say "You deserve better." or something of that sort.

I personally think that this whole thing of who earns more shouldn't be an issue.
Even in Islam, there's no saying that the husband should earn more than the wife.
But it is said that the husband cannot take his wife's money, however, if the husband is in need of help financially, the wife can help.

It is all a matter of understanding, acceptance and stuffs.
And don't let others influenced you.


“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” 
― J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Goblet of Fire


That is all from me, for now.
Thanks for reading.




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